Deji stared keenly at the presenter who sat opposite him in the meeting room, but despite the compelling discussion going, his mind was in a different place. His tapping feet increased his anxiety, but he couldn’t help it.
‘Does anyone have anything else to say?’ the team lead asked as his eyes met his, but Deji hurriedly looked away. He had a lot to say, but what if it sounds stupid, or makes a mistake, or someone asks a question that he can’t answer. So, he stayed quiet, there was no point in drawing attention to himself, he thought. The meeting ended, and everyone left the room chatting, except Deji, who walked out with drooping shoulders. Another meeting done, and like all the others before this, he hadn’t said a word.
He hadn’t walked far when the presenter from the meeting walked up to him. I’d like to have a quick chat with you if you don’t mind. Deji swallowed and nodded, then followed him back to the room.
‘Sit please,’ the presenter gestured. They both sat and without hesitation, he started speaking.
‘I noticed that in the business meeting, you looked like you wanted to contribute but didn’t know how, so I would like to give you 5 tips for the next time you find yourself in that position.’ Deji nodded and the presenter continued speaking.
1. Prepare for the meeting. Do your homework, understand the objectives of the meeting ahead and note down your ideas. Then practice what you want to say. You may discuss your idea with someone else and highlight your key points before the meeting. Also actively listen and take notes during the meeting, it would reduce your distraction and provide material for you to pull contributions from.
2. Set a target for yourself. Ahead of the meeting, decide the minimum number of times you want to speak, then look for opportunities to do so.
3. Don’t get anxious about being anxious. Instead take it as a sign that you’re ready for action, not incompetence.
4. Contribute early. Don’t wait till the end of the meeting to speak. Speak early enough. This would help calm your jitters for the rest of the meeting.
5. Start with questions. If you are still in doubt about sharing full blown ideas, ask questions instead. Use this to bolster your confidence as you evolve in your contribution. This question could be to clarify something by reiterating what someone has said, then confirming what they mean. For example, “would you mind clarifying that again or to clarify your last statement of (insert what was said), do you mean (insert your understanding).
Deji had been listening with rapt attention up to this point.
‘Sir?’ he interrupted gently ‘Sorry Sir, what if there’s someone who dominates a meeting and has said what I planned to say, can I still contribute meaningfully?’ he asked.
‘Of course. You can agree with what the person said then add your rephrase. For example, “I agree with what “x” person said, this would be a beneficial idea, especially with (then add any other input). Also, don’t apologize when asking a question or contributing, you are part of the meeting. There’s no need to make yourself look smaller both with your words or posture’
‘Thank you Sir, I understand. but my voice isn’t as loud as some others, so how do I still get my idea across such that it would be taken seriously?’
‘I get this question a lot and my answer is simple. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You don’t have to be the loudest in the room or use long exaggerated sentences to get your ideas across. What’s important is that you are concise, clear and confident. Project your expertise when speaking, resist the urge to over explain but top line is that you stay confident. In all of this don’t forget that your ideas are meant to be heard, and any good manager would appreciate your input.’
‘Thank you,’ Deji smiled. ‘I now feel more confident about speaking in meetings.’
‘You’re welcome Deji.’
The presenter left the room with Deji following. This time he walked with his shoulders raised, and a promise to himself to speak up at the next meeting.
Simi Joel 